Meanwhile Around The World...

In an attempt to escape the avalanche of political or election related news I clicked on some international news sites figuring there must be something else going on in the world. I wasn’t disappointed, it turns out the rest of the world has been watching us much the same way you might watch a professional wrestling match or a Jerry Springer episode; it’s intriguing but it gets old pretty quick so they’ve moved on with life. Imagine that.

I was a bit disappointed when the headline on the BBC International page read “Trump denies transition disarray” but relieved when I saw that was all of the American political news they covered. From there the stories filled me in on the action unfolding around the world. Riveting stuff.

In England they reported that the “UK Supreme Court faces Brexit limelight.” The story featured a picture of ten old white guys and one old white lady wearing gold lined robes and white wigs who will decide next month if their government has the legal right to execute the will of the people with regard to the Brexit vote. What could possibly go wrong in that situation?

There was an interview with one of the justices, a cheeky fellow named Lord Kerr of Tonaghmore (I’m not making that up) who “confessed to feeling unabashed by the predicted public and press interest in the case.” I guess we got a harrumph out of that guy! Quite right, quite right…wait…what?

Next I read, “Police name Jakarta governor as blasphemy suspect.” I confess I had to stop to look up Jakarta because I always thought it was a city and I was confused about why a city was run by a governor. It turns out that Jakarta has a population of over ten million people in 123 separate districts…I guess they can have a governor if they want to.

Apparently the governor, who is running for re-election, faces up to five years in prison for saying it was OK for his Muslim constituents to vote for him. His opponent filed charges of blasphemy, which apparently is a thing in Indonesia, and the police actually arrested him. That’s some real third world Mickey Mouse nonsense for you…threatening to jail your political opponent! Outrageous!

Another headline asked, “How can Facebook fix its fake news?” Honestly I didn’t read the story because I already know the answer; they can’t and they shouldn’t. I don’t deny that fake news has infested the internet or that Facebook spreads it like a cold in a pre-school, that’s a fact. I’m saying Facebook shouldn’t mess with it because people seem to prefer reading stuff that reinforces what they believe regardless of it’s veracity. Besides, how in the world can Facebook decide what is real news and what is not? Mark Zukerberg is a sharp kid but let’s face it, he’s no Brian Williams or Rupert Murdoch.

The most British headline on the page said, “Firms turn poo into profit.” Can you imagine a major American news outlet featuring the word “poo” in a headline? Maybe we should because I confess I probably wouldn’t have read an article named “Interesting alternative energy sources” but I read the story about making money out of poo.

It turns out that the rest of the world is pretty advanced in their poop related technology. They are creating gas, electricity and even drinking water from human waste in Europe and Africa. I think we need get in on this gold mine! Let’s face it Americans are as full of crap as anybody in the world. Hell, if we had cashed in on just a portion of the shit dished out during the election cycle we could eliminate the national debt! I make my civic contribution right here every week.

The final story that caught my eye was, “Post-truth declared word of the year by Oxford Dictionaries.” The story was capped by a picture of President-elect Trump making a speech, but I read on anyway because dictionaries and words fascinate me and I really didn’t know what “post-truth” meant.

It’s defined as an “adjective relating to circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than emotional appeals.” It seems to my simple uneducated mind that they’re saying that “post-truth” applies when how we feel about something is more important than what we know about it. Damn, so those so-called news sites on Facebook aren’t fake after all, they’re just post-truth!

No offense meant to the good people at Oxford Dictionaries but that sounds like utter bullshit to me. Hey, maybe we could recycle some post-truth and make some money!

So I didn’t escape politics completely but I did get a sample of the stuff that the rest of the world is reading in their morning papers while we’re reading about election protests, post-election analysis and other post-truth nonsense. Quite right, quite right…