You probably can’t tell from reading my posts but I really
admire a well-turned phrase. I try to mix in an occasional clever quote with my
meaningless gibberish whenever possible to make it seem like I might have a
point. Normally I provide the “almost” the quotes provide the “clever.”
Whenever possible I try to give proper credit for the quotes
I use but more often I’ll just paraphrase it because I am far too lazy to
research the actual quote and who said it.
Many commonly used quotes aren’t from the source quoted
anyway and more are just plain misquoted. For example, Humphrey Bogart never
said, “Play it again, Sam” in Casablanca. That’s a very common misconception by
those who are even cool enough to know Bogart was in Casablanca.
It’s a little know fact that “Play it again Sam” was first
uttered on a Fourth of July episode of the TV show “Cheers” by a mesmerized mailman
named Cliff Claven after the bartender, Sam Malone, had just showed a videotape
of Bea Arthur wearing a stars and stripes bikini playing “Yankee Doodle” on a
harmonica.
OK, that may not be true, but it’s an imagine that should
keep Humphrey Bogart out of your head for a while.
I may have ripped off a quote or two over the years but I’ve
honestly never meant to. Sometimes great minds think alike and come up with
similar ideas and sometimes we just don’t realize someone else may have used a
similar line; but I like to give credit where it is due.
Laurence
J Peters probably said it best, “Originality is the fine art of remembering
what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” If that’s true, I’m a pretty
original guy.
Today’s
post is all about great quotes and I’ll admit right up front that there is nothing
original about these lines because I’m going to tell you exactly where they
came from. A great quote is a line that can be taken out of context and still
make you laugh, smile or ponder.
Mark
Twain has probably been quoted, misquoted and ripped off as much as any
American because he was a true master of the language with a uniquely American
sense of humor. Most of us have heard a famous Mark Twain quote but here are a
few you may not have heard; “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as
you please.” “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” Or one of my
favorites, “All generalizations are false, including this one.”
Dang, I
wish I had said that…any of that! Other great lines that I didn’t say include:
“Behind
every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” Jim Carrey
“A
successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.” Lana Turner
“Before
I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.” President Ronald
Reagan
“One
man’s folly is another man’s wife.” Helen Rowland
“Electricity
is really just organized lightning.” George Carlin
“I
haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” Rodney
Dangerfield
“I’m
not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Woody
Allen
“I
always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more
specific.” Lily Tomlin
I could
go on because there are so many great quotes from so many funny and insightful
people…who aren’t me.
Every
week I sit here and share whatever semi-amusing thoughts that might pass
through my mind, but I don’t have any illusions that anyone will ever quote, or
even misquote the drivel I write here.
Although
I did see a “Life is a rollercoaster” quote on the Internet the other day, and
even though I wrote a column with that title a few years ago, the quote wasn’t
mine. The good news is it that the quote
I read wasn’t as good what I wrote...as far as you know.
I
wrote, “Life is like a roller coaster; you wait forever for something to happen
and when it does it starts too fast, there are slow climbs to the top followed
by quick falls back down, sudden turns that you never see coming then all too
soon its over. That’s it. That’s my philosophy. Life is a roller coaster; you
stand in line, you take your ride and sometimes people throw up. That’s as deep
as I get.”
Geez,
on second thought maybe mine wasn’t so good after all, but I never claimed to
be clever…just almost.
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