Nice words arranged brilliantly

By now you must be sick of reading about my travel schedule, I know I am.  This week I thought I’d do something I almost never do…write about something that doesn’t involve me.

One of the cool things about the internet, email and social media is that we are constantly exposed gems of wisdom and really cool quotes from all of histories great minds that you used to have to actually pick up books to find.  Let’s face it, the chances for that happening are growing more remote with each passing generation.

As a writer, yes I consider myself a writer, and a guy who appreciates the ability to use language in unique ways to provoke amusement, emotion and, God forbid, pause for thought by the reader, I’m glad that more people are exposed to great and amusing quotes from the past; even if pretentious jerks post them on Face Book to make themselves look sophisticated.

Yes, I’m one of those jerks but I post quotes when they’re funny or cool and I wish I had written them myself; I post a lot of quotes.

Earlier this week I received an email filled with great quotes from an old friend who knows how much I enjoy a well-written line. It made me think some of my own favorite quotes; some I have read, some I’ve heard and some I just made up.

Instead of attempting to amuse you with my clever manipulation of the language, this week I thought I might share some of my favorite quotes with you; thereby passing on some really cool thought from some really great minds and, more importantly, avoiding the need for original thought.

George Burns, a very funny man who is not quoted often enough, once said, “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.”

This is a great quote because it’s clever, timeless and anyone who practices any religion can identify and appreciate it. That’s the difference between being almost clever and being George Burns.

Speaking of clever, everyone has a favorite Mark Twain quote and he is recognized as a great American wit mostly because…he was a great American wit. I’m a huge fan of his and have quoted him often but one of my all time favorites is a little gem that few people remember.

He said, “Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..” Twain was such a master of the language that he could make insulting women seem eloquent and gentile; one of the many reasons he is one of my heroes.

While most of the gems I quote most often come form humorists, I appreciate a great line even when it comes from serious types. The great Greek scholar and philosopher Socrates once said, “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.”

Socrates said a lot of brilliant things meant to make people think but he also said that; which makes me think it might be worth my time to read some of that other stuff, too.

I have too many favorites to fit into this column but I have to include a much-ignored classic from Jimmy Buffett, “The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful.” It’s not politically correct and not very sensitive but it’s honest and it’s funny and I like it.

I’ve written a lot of meaningless gibberish in my time but once, while examining the meaning of life, something we all do but I don’t recommend, I wrote, “That’s my theory about the meaning of life; you buy your ticket, you take your ride and sometimes people throw up. That’s it. Life is a rollercoaster; that’s about as deep as I get."

It seems that philosophers like Socrates are better at humor than humorists are at waxing philosophic.

Finally, I’ll leave you with one of my favorites; a classic from Oscar Wilde, “Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about." Words to live by… seriously.