At a business meeting a while back I noticed that my voice
had become unusually raspy and I couldn’t seem to clear it. Being a hardened
survivor of throat cancer and an all around manly man, I faced the specter of
unexplained throat problems as you might expect; I became a simpering
hypochondriac, certain that every cough or headache was the confirmation that
the cancer had returned and I would have to face radiation again.
In the end it turned out that, as the man said, the only
thing I had to fear was fear itself. What I was afraid might be a cancerous
tumor turned out to be some scar tissue that, aside from leaving my voice with
a bit of an “Eastwood” quality, was perfectly harmless.
Fear can do funny things to a guy. My natural state has
normally been to walk through life happily under the illusion that I am in
control and seeking just enough adventure to exaggerate in the stories I
subsequently tell about them. Fear can take over your life and, sadly a life
lived in fear leads a man to make poor decisions like driving sedans,
drinking lite beer or watching Fox News.
When a man starts making decisions because he’s afraid of
what might happen instead of what sounds fun, fear has taken over … and there’s
nothing manly about that. The first time you order a salad for lunch instead of
a bacon-cheeseburger because you’re afraid your cholesterol might go up … you
just lost two shots of mojo that you may never get back!
If you want a salad because you’re coming off a weeklong
bear hunting trip and have eaten nothing but hardtack and beans, then order the
freakin’ salad with attitude and devour it with a gusto that makes mother’s
shield their children’s eyes. Eating a salad because you want to is as manly as
dating a woman who is taller than you … it shows the kind of mojo only found in
fearless men.
Fear is insidious and once it gets a foothold in your decision-making
it spreads like a cancer. You might become a Patriots fan or, worse, a Dodger
fan because they usually have winning seasons and you’re afraid your team might
lose. You may be so afraid your son might get a skinned knee that you make him
dress up like a hockey goalie just to ride his bike. Fear is an ugly thing.
If you only play slap and tickle with your significant other
on Saturday nights because you’re afraid of a potential weeknight rejection or
if you won’t dance the horizontal tango on weeknights for fear of being tired
at work the next day…you need to strap on pair because fear is ruling your
life!
Now that I’ve become familiar with fear based decision-making
I can see that my whole generation, heck our entire nation has become afraid to
just live. When I was a younger I was always told that during an election year
you should always vote for the candidate you thought would do the best for the
country; always vote your conscience. Now I’m reading that grown-up Americans
are voting for one dishonest blowhard because they’re afraid the other
dishonest blowhard will ruin our country! What fresh brand of “scaredy-cat”
politics is that? Politicians can’t ruin our country, we’re Americans…. only we
can ruin our country. Don’t let fear do that.
People are suddenly afraid of being offended, what a load of
horse crap! Being offended is nothing to be afraid of; if you leave your house
at all you’re likely to be offended everyday but it’s nothing to be afraid of. Heck,
I run across hipsters, Texans, phone salesmen and Donald Trump ads everyday and
they offend the hell out of me but I’m not scared of them.
It turns out that I’m a grown-up and being afraid, much like
being offended, is a choice! I can simply choose to live under the illusion
that I’m in control and seek the adventures that I will later tell lies about
while drinking a Guinness Stout and eating some chili-cheese fries…. just
because I want to!
If you’re afraid to risk eating real ice cream fear has
taken your soul and you’re not really living. Life is risk so living a life of
risk avoidance is like eating a low fat diet; it will keep you alive…but what’s
the point?
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