Maybe it's just me ...

I realize that everyone has their own perspective on life and we all have different preferences and tastes … how else could you possibly explain the continued existence of activities like yodeling or tractor pulls? I completely understand that there are avid yodelers and tractor pull fans out there and it doesn’t bother me a bit that other people enjoy things that seem strange to me.

Hell, I don’t expect every guy to be a microbrew drinking Jimmy Buffett fan with a thing for Pam Anderson like me … just the normal ones.

Lately it seems that my personal tastes and perspective on life seem to be drifting further from the mainstream lately. I’ve noticed that I’ve been starting more sentences with the phrase, “Is it just me or …”, which is a solid indicator that I’m may not be the cutting edge cool guy I once was or that the world is slipping a chaotic mess where common sense and good taste just don’t apply anymore. I’m going with that chaotic thing … I’m as cool as I’ve ever been.

For example, is it just me or is it next to impossible to find news anymore? We used get more news from reading the local newspaper and listening to a 30 minute evening news broadcast than we do now from 24 hour news networks and the internet. Since when did journalism become a bunch of babbling opinionated talking heads giving and Internet blogs? Whatever happened to the Joe Friday approach to reporting; just the facts, ma’am?

Shoot, it’s gotten so bad that the TV news networks are now interviewing the internet bloggers as “experts” and the bloggers are quoting themselves from the new networks! I watched an hour of “news” the other night and I’m pretty sure my IQ dropped a couple of points by the time it was over.

Is it just me or do famous people give each other way more awards than they used to? There are the Golden Globes, SAG Awards, People Choice Awards, Academy Awards, Emmys, Grammys, Tonys and about a dozen more that I can’t remember. Seriously, do actors’ egos need to be stroked that often or do they just like to dress up and kiss each other as often as possible?

Is it just me or is Vladimir Putin the last world leader who makes sense? Don’t get me wrong, I think the guy is a maniacal power hungry asshole who rules his country with an iron fist … but that’s exactly who I expect to be running Russia! He’s freakin’ Boris Badenov personified!

Putin is a pure villain but at least he doesn’t pretend to be shocked and offended that the CIA is spying on his country. Too many other world leaders seemed to be really pissed off that we spy on them … of course the CIA is spying on them, that’s what we pay the CIA to do! Don’t these guys watch movies? Jason Bourne had a safe house in every major city in the world; sheesh, pay attention people!

Is it just me or do restaurants take advantage of senior citizens on fixed incomes? They offer a discounted menu for people over 55 which seems like a good deal until you actually read the senior menu. Scrambled egg substitute (whatever the hell that is) and half a canned pear filled with cottage cheese for breakfast or maybe half a turkey sandwich and half a canned peach filled with cottage cheese for lunch then half a grilled chicken breast and a scoop of cottage cheese with your choice of a canned peach or a canned pear for dinner might be inexpensive but it’s not real food!

It’s a friggin’ shame that a our senior citizens survived the horrors of the Vietnam war, disco music and the Carter Administration just to be forced to eat “Egg Beaters” and cottage cheese to save a few bucks. No wonder old dudes get cranky, if I had to choose between staying home and eating cat food casserole or going out to catch the “almost food” special at the IHOP, I’d probably get a bit testy myself.

Is it just me or are there are more jerks trying to merge at the last minute these days? I’m talking about the morons who ignore the traffic signs telling the to merge because their lane is going to end. The same assholes who speed past the long line of reasonable people who’ve formed a single merged line in a civilized manner then try to wedge their way in at the head of the line because they’re too cool to get in line with the rest of us. Man, I hate those guys!

My first thought is that if everyone had a bazooka in their vehicle, it wouldn’t be long before everyone politely merged into a single line. I realize that some folks might consider blasting a stranger with a bazooka a bit harsh for merging poorly … I don’t  ... but may it’s just me.